I am Ready to take care of my twins. The young Mother who gave birth at 16 Vowed.

I am A social Worker, no daubt about that, i am Author, i am working with young mother, I would like their stories to be heard and their faces to be seen: to portray teen mothers in their living and working environments, collect their testimonies and show the consequences of early pregnancy.

During interview with the young mother, she expressed her life story.

And the moment that I have been anticipating for days, months, and years even has come. I took a deep breath and pushed down my baby with own power while I followed my body. Before my breath finished, my first baby came sliding out of me and the next follows. While I exhaled, I quietly said that they are born. They put my twin into my arms even before cutting their umbilical cord. They were warm, wet, soft, and smelled sweet. They screamed joyfully, and I thanked them repeatedly for giving me this wonderful experience. The doctors and nurses were looking on at that remarkable moment when our twin joined my family, confused, happy, and teary eyed. They stared at us with questioning expressions because they had just watched a birth so vastly different from the fearful births they had witnessed in the past—fearfulness that resulted from the negative birth stories that have been handed down to women for years especially women who passed through difficult life and have eroded their confidence and power regarding birth. How had it come to this?

In the beginning of 2017, my father died, following the mother, who was deceased before, the elder sisters suggested that everyone was to start living on his or her own. Being the last born at the age of 18, I decided to come to kampala to look for some work to do. Later got a job as a maid; I only managed to work for few months since I was always suffering from a severe headache and brutality from my bosses. Later I went back to village where I met a man aged 23 who promised to take good care of me. I came to town with a man and lived together for one week. Later, I went to look for another job. After some few weeks i realized that, I missed my periods that I am pregnant, I went back to a man’s place to tell him about the news. The man denied the pregnancy and told me never to come back looking for him.

By that time, no jobs, and lost focus and hope, I started living on streets and in churches. I went to the village. Elder sisters got mad about the pregnancy and they advised to abort. I resisted, not killing the innocent baby, I was chased away from home,I felt that everything was over, no hope, no money, and no any assistance.

I went back to Kampala but no where to stay, I started living in churches like Christian life church of pastor Jackson Ssenyonga in Bwaise, and Miracle center cathedral of Pastor Robert Kayanja Lubaga where I was receiving some help from the volunteers.

So, the matter worsens, she went back to streets, sleeping on verandas, and tree shades for couple of weeks, she met a woman called Musawo Jane in Bwaise, she gave her tea and what to eat, she told a bodaboda rider to take her to Lubaga miracle center cathedral of Pastor Robert Kayanja, she spent their 2 weeks since they was still chased because it is prohibited to deliver from church, she went again back on streets.

I walked with my baby inside right from Lubaga heading where I don’t know, sometimes the sunshine and heavy rain barely hit, stopped on the church called worship house of pastor Wilson Bugembe, slept there one day, and heading to a health center called Kawempe Mulago where she stayed 5 days getting medicine and other post natal care for free, because I explained my story to doctor, he was touched and decided to help me for free. From there, I continued the Journey, walking while sleeping on people’s retail shops, petrol stations, verandas, and streets; I went back to Christian life church.

Forty weeks and 5 days into the pregnancy, my Twins and I were still together. In life I don’t wished anyone to live in, I felt their movements less now—they were smaller than they had been but stronger. My friends on streets, in churches, at least 20 people checking on me every day where I used to sleep on cement to ask when I will give birth and scaring me by saying things like, “What if something’s wrong with the baby?” no one among my brothers and sisters wanted to know about my life, My mother and Father up in the sky/heaven may be were watching and praying for me, and waiting impatiently for their first grandson, constantly saying, “It’s high time the baby made an appearance.” Because they used to say that when they are still alive, they loved me so much. I became so fed up, especially in the last 10 days of my pregnancy. I suggested to the close friends-to-be that they not tell anyone the approximate birth date to avoid similar experiences.

I made myself believe that my Twins would be born in the night, having heard somewhere that animals that sleep in the daytime birth in the night and vice versa (which seemed to show that privacy and protection are important in nature.) In the weeks and days leading up to my due date, I tried my best to go to sleep in people’s houses, or people’s veranders early every day so as not to be tired when I finally went into labor. I would fall asleep rubbing my abdomen and thinking, “Maybe I’ll smell you tonight babies.” But when morning came, I would wake to find my babies was still saying, “Good morning, mommy!” from my womb.

It was another such morning when I went to the toilet of one of good Samaritan and saw the first thrilling sign that the birth was finally going to happen. I had to go to nearby church to pray, There came a lady dressed well, totally in the same age group, she was from Pelletier teenage mothers foundation (PTMOF) it was the first sign that Miracle exists, and God is always there for the poor, she told me about the services they are offering, at first I was in fear of strangers but finally I trusted her since we met at the church.

She leads me to where she stay, I found older woman at home, to find that she was the mother of that lady I met, but I told them everything I passed through, then, after, they tried to link me to my older brothers and sisters who chased me, but all in vain, in the end, they sent me back to my Sister Called Namatovu Zaina to first deliver, then I will come back to acquire skills. Since the organization don’t accommodate mothers due to its little facilities.

Reaching to My Sisters home, Waves from my other sisters and brothers ordering my sister to chase me from her home, because I was pregnant at young age. Looking to the situation, at home, I developed feelings to escape from my sister’s home to go back to street. On the street, the contractions became more frequent. I put my hand on my abdomen and could feel uterine contractions, but they were not bothering me at all.

At around 2:00 a.m., I put my hand on my abdomen. Because of the stories of labor pains that I still had in my mind, however, I didn’t think they could be birth contractions. I went to church of Pastor Jackson Ssenyonaga.

While at the church, I suddenly felt nauseous and vomited I could sense an amazing cocktail of hormones flowing through my body. I had never felt so happy, energetic, and motivated. These were the last moments of my babies inside me, and I was enjoying it! I went to Mulago hospital. The on-duty doctor put a hand on my abdomen and said, “The contractions are severe. I think I should examine you.” I lay on the examination couch and he made a vaginal examination. The doctor told me that they are Twins! I said what!?

This is exactly what happened in my birth. Overcome by a sensation like the thrill you get at the moment you parachute off a mountainside and shout out with joy at the top of your voice, I screamed uncontrollably.

Realizing that the doctor, Mrs Alice from PTMOF was already in the house and the nurse were all staring at me in amazement, I told them, “Everything’s okay, don’t worry. There is no pain, just a sudden adrenaline rush. I settled myself back onto the bed and felt the urge to push. My body position was as straight as possible. I took a deep breath and pushed my first baby downward with all my power. “Push slowly,” my birth doctor warned me. “The baby’s coming too fast. After few minutes, I pushed the second baby! Doctor told me! Again “Push slowly,” I’ll have to do an episiotomy.” But I just could not slow myself down. In my terms, it was a natural birth throughout.

I was in a state of shock after the delivery, unable to believe my Twins was now in my arms. It was 3:15 a.m. Just 25 minutes had passed since I had gone into the delivery room. The birth was not the way some people had described it. It was totally painless, joyful, exciting, and quick. My Twins was so good, Looking healthy. At first, They greeted the world with loud screams, presumably because of the effects of the hormone cocktail, but they calmed down after they was cradled in my arms and heard me say, “Welcome, my Twins. I have been waiting for you for so long. I love you so much, do not cry.” They began looking around curiously with their eyes wide open. One named Wasswa Miracle and the other named Kato Favour.

From hospital, I came with Madam Alice at the centre, where I was given a room to look after my little young ones, as well as learning hairdressing to be equipped with skills. It is now a year living at Pelletier teenage mothers foundation, my twin’s looks very heathy and energetic, I am glad to be part of my new family.
I am thankfu for all the support. May God bless you!

After told me the story I Asked about her dreams, she mentions two things: she would love to raise her twins well, and be able one day to return to school. She cannot afford either.

Unfortunately every year the same tragedy touches thousands of Ugandan girls: 39% of women in Uganda under the age of 19 have already had a child or are pregnant. Most pregnancies are the result of rape or other sexual abuses, including survival sex. The consequences are extremely serious: school drop-outs, mental health problems, family and social rejection, forced marriage, domestic violence, increased poverty and children sent away as restavecs (a modern type of slavery). The impact is also considerable on the well-being and functioning of society as a whole.

Some time ago I started meeting women, young girls and older women, who became mothers much too early. I wanted to listen to their life stories and look into their eyes, which often say more than words.
These women are one of the reasons I came to Nansana Uganda and joined the mission. Being aware of the daily struggles of Ugandans is very important and motivational for my work.

I would like their stories to be heard and their faces to be seen by others as well, which is why I started the “My GIHAPOAF” project. The objective is to portray teen mothers in their living and working environments, collect their testimonies and show the consequences of early pregnancy.
I also ask women about their dreams. “These are usually very ‘ordinary’: return to school, have the family together, find a job, ensure a better future for their kids, stop being abused, be happy.”
I truly believe that we should, and can, strive to make these ‘ordinary’ dreams come true.

PREPARING FOR THE BABY. STORY

Preparing and delivering for the baby: The story

baby

Get a look to a story of Zam whom i interviewed during a session at arch.center

And the moment that I have been anticipating for days, months, and years   even has come. I took a deep breath and pushed down my baby with own power while I followed my body. Before my breath finished, my baby came sliding out of me. While I exhaled, I quietly said that he is born. They put my son into my arms even before cutting his umbilical cord. He was warm, wet, soft, and smelled sweet. He screamed joyfully, and I thanked him repeatedly for giving me this wonderful experience. The doctors and nurses were looking on at that remarkable moment when our son joined our family, confused, happy, and teary eyed. They stared at us with questioning expressions because they had just watched a birth so vastly different from the fearful births they had witnessed in the past—fearfulness that resulted from the negative birth stories that have been handed down to women for years and have eroded their confidence and power regarding birth. How had it come to this?

 Forty weeks and 5 days into the pregnancy, my baby and I were still together. I felt his movements less now—they were smaller than they had been but stronger. My phone was ringing off the hook, at least 20 people calling me every day to ask if I have given birth and scaring me by saying things like, “What if something’s wrong with the baby?” My mother was waiting impatiently for her first grandson, constantly saying, “It’s high time the baby made an appearance.” I became so fed up, especially in the last 10 days of my pregnancy that in the pregnancy classes that I gave after my baby was born, I suggested to the mothers-to-be that they not tell anyone the approximate birth date to avoid similar experiences.

I made myself believe that my son would be born in the night, having heard somewhere that animals that sleep in the daytime birth in the night and vice versa (which seemed to show that privacy and protection are important in nature.) In the weeks and days leading up to my due date, I tried my best to go to sleep early every day so as not to be tired when I finally went into labor. I would fall asleep rubbing my abdomen and thinking, “Maybe I’ll smell you tonight baby.” But when morning came, I would wake to find my baby was still saying, “Good morning, mommy!” from my womb.

It was another such morning when I went to the toilet and saw the first thrilling sign that the birth was finally going to happen. My husband and my mother were home, but I said nothing to them because I wanted to stay at home until the contractions became more frequent. I put my hand on my abdomen and could feel uterine contractions, but they were not bothering me at all. We had a nice family breakfast, took a walk by the sea for 2 hours, and went to the market, and then I cleaned my house in a squatting position. (Knowing that squatting is one of the most appropriate positions during labor because it enables the baby to move more easily in the birth canal [ Balaskas, 1992 ], I was seeking any excuse to squat.)

That evening, I was feeling quite energetic and dynamic. At around 9:00 p.m., while we were all watching TV together, I fell asleep on the living room sofa. At 11 p.m., my mother woke me up to tell me to go to my bed, but by then I felt wide awake, so she went to bed herself—a relief to me because I was sure she would treat me like an invalid if she thought the birth was imminent. My husband was not sleepy either, so we decided to watch a documentary about dolphins giving birth. I told him that our baby could come to the world that day, but he just laughed and said, “The dolphin might be giving birth today, but you won’t.” Then he too decided to go to bed.

I was having contractions, but I would not have even noticed them had I not put my hand on my abdomen. I was also feeling some pressure on my perineum, but the contractions I had felt during the pregnancy had disturbed me more. I decided to take a shower, and the warm water combined with the smell of the shampoo made me feel great. I blow dried my hair, put on some nail polish, prepared the clothes I would wear to go to the hospital, and ate an apple. Then, I finally went to bed.

At around 2:00 a.m., I put my hand on my abdomen and tried to time my contractions, which by now were frequent and long lasting. Because of the stories of labor pains that I still had in my mind, however, I didn’t think they could be birth contractions. I switched on my relaxation recording. While I was relaxing my whole body, I suddenly felt nauseous and vomited. My husband and mother both woke up, and my husband said to me, “It cannot be time for birth, but perhaps something is wrong. We should go to the hospital.” We grabbed the already-packed bags, got in the car, and turned on an enjoyable song to listen to during the drive.

On the way, I continued with my breathing and relaxation exercises. I could sense an amazing cocktail of hormones flowing through my body. I had never felt so happy, energetic, and motivated. These were the last moments of my baby inside me, and we were enjoying it! Everybody was calm as we headed to the delivery room. It was 2:50 a.m. The team on night duty was sitting around eating a pizza. I told them, “Don’t trouble yourselves, it’s not time for the birth. We just came in for a checkup.” The on-duty doctor put a hand on my abdomen and said, “The contractions are severe. I think I should examine you.” I lay on the examination couch and he made a vaginal examination.

At that point, I collected myself and asked the personnel to make the head of the bed as upright as possible. Suddenly, just as I was about to stand up, I felt severe pressure on my perineum. At the same time, I felt like I would explode with excitement. Odent (2003) notes that with births where there is no intervention or fear, a sudden adrenaline rush can occur just before the fetal ejection reflex. This is exactly what happened in my birth. Overcome by a sensation like the thrill you get at the moment you parachute off a mountainside and shout out with joy at the top of your voice, I screamed uncontrollably.

Realizing that the doctor, my husband, and the nurse were all staring at me in amazement, I told them, “Everything’s okay, don’t worry. There is no pain, just a sudden adrenaline rush.” Odent (2003) notes that, with births where there is no intervention or fear, a sudden adrenaline rush can occur just before the fetal ejection reflex. This is what happened in my birth. I settled myself back onto the bed and felt the urge to push. My body position was as straight as possible. I took a deep breath and pushed my baby downward with all my power. “Push slowly,” my birth doctor warned me. “The baby’s coming too fast. I’ll have to do an episiotomy.” But I just could not slow myself down, and the episiotomy was done at the last moment. In my terms, it was a natural birth throughout, without any intervention other than the episiotomy. Is it still possible, therefore, to call this a natural birth? I think it is. It was completely natural because the intervention happened only when necessary.

Two or 3 weeks later, when I had the chance to make some time for myself and think about the birth, I wondered whether the episiotomy might have been unnecessary. After all, I had given myself regular perineal massages every day after the 30th week of my pregnancy specifically to avoid perineal laceration or an episiotomy, just as suggested by evidence-based practice (Berghella, Baxter, & Chauhan, 2008 ). I thought my perineum was ready for the birth. Why did they have to do an episiotomy? I had been in a squatting position, which is the most appropriate position for birth, and had pushed the baby by grasping and pulling my knees up toward me. The baby came out of my vagina very quickly both because I pushed my baby uncontrollably fast, and because of the fetal ejection reflex combined with an adrenaline rush. Perhaps if I had been in the “polar bear” position Mongan (2005) suggested for quick delivery, I would have been able to give birth without the need for an episiotomy.

I was in a state of shock after the delivery, unable to believe my baby was now in my arms. It was 3:15 a.m. Just 25 minutes had passed since I had gone into the delivery room. The birth was not the way some people had described it. It was totally painless, joyful, exciting, and quick. My baby was so good. At first, he greeted the world with loud screams, presumably because of the effects of the hormone cocktail, but he calmed down after he was cradled in my arms and heard me say, “Welcome, my baby. We have been waiting for you for so long. We love you so much, do not cry.” He began looking around curiously with his eyes wide open.

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Make me understand, family parenting and health

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Other archileebrian editorisl offices Luwum street kampala Namayimbwa rcade UGC6032 Williams street Kampala 73452UG Mbarara Lyantonde southwestern UGN00876

ISBN 9781726688512

CONTENTS

About the author………………………………………..xii

Preface………………………………………………… …..xiv

Acknowledgement……………………………………..xvi

Introduction…………………………………………….xviii

What is this book for?…………………………………xx

PART 1 PREPARING FOR THE BABY, GETTING STARTED

Preparing for the baby: the story………………..25

Over view…………………………………………………26

Chapter 1:  Child developmental theories 21………………….…33

Introduction; overview of child development theories…34

Developmental channels and Theories of development…..35

Developmental Stages milestones of child development……36

Sensitive periods in child development…………………………..37

Major child development theories and theorists…………39

Sigmund freud’s psycho sexual stages of development theory………40

Erik erikson’s psycho social stage theory………………………………….….41

Lawrence kohlberg’s moral understanding stage theories…43

Jean piaget’s cognitive development stage theory………………….…45

Urie Bronfenbrenner ecological system theory………………………46

Conclusion…………………………………………………………………….……48

PART 2 CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND PARENTING INFANTS (0-2 YEARS)

Chapter 2: How your baby grew and matures..……..56

Introduction……………………..…………….…….…56

Infancy Physical development……………………57

Infancy physical development. Motor skills…60

Infancy physical development. Gross motor…63

Infancy physical development. Fine motor …..65

Infancy physical development. Avera growth..69

Infancy cognitive development…………………..74

Infancy cognitive development. Language development…….77

Infancy Emotional/social development……….80

Emotional expression and understanding……85

Infancy emotional and social development….. 90

Social connections……………………………………..95

Infancy Sexuality and body awareness development……….98

Chapter 3:  Keeping your baby healthy and happy……….101

Introduction……………………………..………………102

Holding and Physical support…………………….103

Facilitating growth movement……………………105

Feeding and nutrition………………………………..107

How much to feed?……………………………………109

Expressing and storing Breast-feeding……….112

Selecting and preparing bottles ………………….114

Burping and spitting up…………………………….116

When and what Solid foods to introduce?……118

Feeding solids and how to feed solid foods…..121

How much to feed babies?………………………….124

Weaning …………………………………………………126

Elimination and how to diaper, and penis and cord car……..129

Sleeping, Bathing and soothing a crying baby130

Hygiene and dressing your baby…………………135

Well baby Checks and immunizations…………140

Common baby concern………………………………150

Nurturing children, discipline, baby safety…. 153

Conclusion……………………………………………….160

Chapter 4: Infant safety: Keeping your baby say

Introduction to infant safety…………………166

Playroom/nursery safety………………………..…168

Kitchen and bathroom safety……………………170

Fire/electrical, pet safety, and car safety………175

Out door safety and preparing for the worst…195

PART 3 CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND PARENTING EARLY CHILDHOOD DEVELOPMENT (3-7 YEARS)

Chapter 5: Development during early childhood, toddler, and pre-school stages.

Introduction: development during early childhood…………205

Early childhood development average growth ……………….206

Physical development. Fine motor skills……210

Early childhood physical development. Toilet training…….215

Introduction……………………………………….….219

Early childhood cognitive development symbolic function……235

Early childhood cognitive development intuitive thought…………240

Early childhood cognitive development. Language development………243

Early childhood emotional and social development. …………244

Early childhood emotional . Reflective empath……….………247

Early childhood emotional  Aggression…….…249

Conclusion………………………………………….……250

Early childhood emotional  identity and self-esteem…………252

Early childhood emotional. Social connections

Early childhood moral development……………256

Early childhood gender identity and sexuality……………….257

Conclusion ………………………………………….…..258

Chapter 6: Parenting your toddler, preschooler

Early childhood Toilet training introduction

Introduction to parenting your toddler……….262

Early childhood feeding and nutrition…………265

Early childhood sleep ……………………………….267

Early childhood hygiene ……………………………269

Early childhood exercise……………………………273

Early childhood love and nurturing……………275

Early childhood, its important to encourage reading……………………………………………………279

Early childhood medical care…………………….281

Early childhood mental care………………………284

Early childhood safety……………………………….287

Coping with transitions in early childhood: Getting a new sibling …290

Coping with transition in early childhood. Going to day care…………295

Coping with transition. Starting pre-school or kindergarten ……302

Conclusion…………………………………………….310

Chapter 7: Early childhood toilet training…….318

Early childhood toilet training introduction..320

The right time to start toilet training. Children’s readiness.323

Family readiness and red flags…………………..327

Pre-toilet training in early childhood………….330

Preparing the space for toilet training in early childhood….335

Toilet training friendly friendly clothing ……340

Early childhood toilet training methods…….344

Conclusion………………………………………………347

How to deal with toilet training challenges? When traveling……….350

Constipation and fear of flushing………………355

Bed-wetting, encopresis and enuresis………..357

Conclusion………………………………………………359

Chapter 8: Disciplining your toddler, preschooler…….360

Preventing early childhood misbehavior before it happens………362

The use of choice in early childhood………….363

A step-by-step guide for how to discipline children 370

Natural and logical consequences in early children .375

Combining choice and consequences in early childhood……..379

Childhood time outs…………………………..….384

Spanking in early childhood………………………388

Lying in early childhood………………………….…390

Supportive communication in early childhood and discipline…………………………………………..392

Conclusion ………………………………….……….394

Chapter 9: Nurturing your toddler, preschooler………….395

Introduction ………………………………………397

Creating nurturing space in early childhood.400

Physical nurturing. Gross motor activities…..403

Physical nurturing fine motor activities ……405

Cognitive nurturing in early childhood………409

Social nurturing in early childhood…………..413

Emotional nurturing in early childhood………416

Cultural and spiritual nurturing in early……420

Nurturing at home and outside……………….…426

Conclusion. …………………………………….…….…430

PART 4 CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND PARENTING MIDDLE CHILDHOOD (8-11 YEARS)………….……………..432

Chapter 10: Nurturing your middle childhood ………433

Introduction ……………………………….……………435

Child feeding and nutrition………………………..438

Components of healthy meals and importance of water…449

Child sleeping, and managing children’s ins……………..….…460

Child hygiene and appearance…………………..470

Preventive health care, dental and vision car, sun safety, ….481

Common childhood illnesses……………………490

Chapter 11: Middle children safety and education…………………..…511

Introduction…………………………………………514

Automobiles, biking safety, leaving children home alone, outdoor safety, swimming pool safety…………………….………………………….…520

Middle children education……………………….524

Introduction……………………………….………….528

Education and schools ……………………………530

Engaging with teachers, the school,and the educational proces…533

Helping children get their home work done.534

Handling school related discipline incidents 534

Chapter 12 Middle child discipline and guidance …………535

Introduction…………………………………………..537

Choices and consequences ………………………539

Grounding children and sticker charts………541

Children cores, nurturing and children’s need for privacy…544

Dealing with difficult middle childhood issues………….548

Introduction ………………………………….………558.

Dealing with life’s tough topics…………………565

Teaching in children social skills………………573

Cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs at home, …….577

Romantic crushes and questions about sex..582

Sibling rivalry, encouraging children to support one another …587

Bullying and peer abuse and prejudice………593

Conclusion ………………………………….………….595

PART 5   CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND PARENTING ADOLESCENCE (12-24)

Chapter 13. Child development theory. Adolescence………606

What is adolescence?……………………………….608

An overview of adolescence development……612

Adolescence physical development……………620

Adolescence cognitive development…………..628

Adolescence emotional development…………634

Adolescence social development…………….660

Adolescence moral development……………….680

Adolescence sexual development………………695

Middle to late adolescence ages (15-22) the age of romance ….723

Conclusion……………………………………….……724

Chapter 14. Children and internet addiction in families….725

Introduction to Internet addiction……………726

Symptoms of Internet addiction……………….730

Children and media issues……………………….735

Types of media, its benefits and challenge…..765

Managing and controlling children media usage…770

Reference…………………………772

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Lukonge Achilees (Achilles)is highly experienced social worker, psychologist, Psychiatrist, Counselor/Therapist currently working with Pelletier teenage mothers foundation (PTMOF) helping over 100 vulnerable with the remarkable ability to create, discover, tell, treat and educate important social work articles that can teach us all the most important lessons in our families, health and our life. With Make me understand about family Parenting and health, he strives especially to help parents, children, students in social work learn how to nurture a health family. Providing them opportunities for getting help in matters concerning family, and to help students and parents understand their roles and responsibilities in upbringing a child, in a health environment.

Make me understand about family parenting and health is a must read for everyone in the family, and those working with children like care givers, teachers, guides and others fall in that category. Lukonge Achilees takes the reader on a wonderful journey, balancing all family and health sections, good therapeutic technique, and family empirical styles during the trip. Given that Lukonge Achilees elaborated aspects required in nurturing a health family, and any reader using this resource should increase their understanding of how family works, and how to raise good children, and how to stay safe and healthy in the family system.

Make me understand about family parenting and health is a fantastic book, well executed by a master! Achilees, systematically leads readers through every step of raising children, and provides examples for achieving a wide variety of specific goals.

 PREFACE

This first edition of the Handbook of Parenting and health appears at a time that is momentous in the history of parenting. The family generally, and parenting specifically, are today in a greater state offlux, question, and redefinition than perhaps ever before. We are witnessing the emergence of striking permutations on the theme of parenting: blended families, lesbian and gay parents, teen versus Fifties first-time moms and dads. One cannot but be awed on the biological front by technology that now renders postmenopausal women capable of childbearing and with the possibility of designing babies. Similarly, on the sociological front, single parenthood is a modern-day fact of life, adult–childdependency is on the rise, and parents are ever less certain of their roles, even in the face of rising environmental and institutional demands that they take increasing responsibility for their offspring.

The Handbook of Parenting is concerned with all facets of parenting. Despite the fact that most people become parents and everyone who has ever lived has had parents, parenting remains a most mystifying subject. Who is ultimately responsible for parenting? Does parenting come naturally, or must we learn how to parent? How do parents conceive of parenting? What does it mean to parent a preterm baby/infant (0-2years) parenting early childhood (3-7years) parenting middle childhood (8-11years) and parenting adolescents (12-24years)?

To be a younger or an older parent, or one who is divorced, disabled, or drug abusing? What do theories in psychology (psycho sexual stages of Sigmund frued, psycho social stages of Erik Erikson, moral understanding theory of Lawrence Kohlberg, Jean Piaget’s cognitive development stage theory, and Urie Bronfenbrenner ecological system theory for example) contribute to our understanding of parenting? What should parents do with each stage? For their children?

These are some of the questions addressed in this first edition of the Handbook of parenting… for this is a book on how to parents much as it is one on what being a parent is all about.

Put succinctly, parents create people. It is the entrusted and abiding task of parents to prepare their offspring for the physical, psychosocial, and economic conditions in which they will eventu-ally fare and, it is hoped, flourish. Amidst the many influences on child development, parents are the“final common pathway “to children’s development and stature, adjustment and success.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

This journey would not have been possible without the support of my family, professors, and mentors, and friends. To my family, thank you for encouraging me in all of my pursuits and inspiring me to follow my dreams, iam especially grateful to my parents, who supported me emotionally and financially. I always knew that you believed in me and wanted the best for me. Thank you for teaching me that my job in life was to learn, to be happy, and to know and understand myself; only then could I know and understand others. Thank you my mother, Nakayemba Rose, for guiding me as a person, a social worker, psychologist and teacher to finish my degree and giving me an upper hand in this process of book writing

I must thank all social work Lecturers and professors at Muteesa 1 Royal university  who tought me all what I know in social science structures, thanks for showing me what it means to be a dedicated, each in their own unique way. Each of you have given of your time, energy, and expertise and iam richer for it: Lecturer Lwanga Edward Bita, Lecturer Luttamaguzi John Bosco, Dr. Tumukunde Aloysious, Prof. Mukiibi

I would like to give special thanks to my inspiring roll models, I owe a debt of gratitude to Lecturer Lwanga Edward Bita for his time and careful attention to detail in everything I know in social work. To teacher Lukwago Ibrah I thank him for his untiring support and guidance throughout my journey. To my Father Profesor Mutaawe Richard, To Mr. Luttamaguzi John Bosco, thank you for modling great teaching and furthering my thinking about Social work and family, Psychology, anthropology, social work theories, community rehabilitation, social work intervation, and many others, Mr. Lwanga E.Bita thanks for furthering my thinking about Sociology, and statistics in social research, Mr. Mukiibi Andrew Adrian thank you for furthering my thinking about Gender mainstreaming, Research Methodology. Dr. Tumukunde Aloysious you modeled me in Social work courses.

To my family, RODI family headed by Prof. Mutaawe Richard and Prof. Londo Johnson, you are the reason why I finished my studies, no words can describe your presence in my life, and may God bless you all.

To my mentors at a work place PTMOF, Maama Ptmof, Mrs. Solome Nanvule, Mrs. Namuwulya Alice, Nagawa Mariam, Nakulima Winnie, Nakaweesi Agather, Nakalumba Salma , and mentors from Lwemodde, Speaker Bbaale Mudashiru, Chairperson Lusiba Mikidaadi, Wetaka Neithan.

To my mentor Sue Taylor from United States of America, thank you for your guiding advice, thoughts, and building words, and all things you have done toward my life.

Who this book is for

We all believe being a parent is one of the most important jobs we can do, but it can also be one of the most difficult and we all have had times when we are frustrated, confused and stressed by our children. Therefore, This handbook is written for parents of young children, teens, youth, and adolescents. Students who are doing social sciences, those wish to join and those who are practicing it. This handbook is for Therapists/Counselors, Teachers, Lecturers, Activists, and everyone working with children, youth, adolescents in families and community members.

It aims to give you a better understanding of your child’s behavior and what is it that your child is trying to communicate through their behavior.

It also offers parenting tips and ideas on how to raise and nurture a good health child. It gives you a step-by-step guide for child development and parenting infants aged from 0-2 years, child development and parenting early childhood aged 3-7 years, child development and parenting of middle childhood aged 8-11, child development and parenting adolescents aged 12-24.

Consists of both theories and practical parts that take you through early child development techniques.

From the experience

I consider parenting to be one of the most important and most enjoyable things my parents got to do in their life. So, I think about it a lot, read about it, research it, and I write about it. I think parental choices and attitudes matter a great deal in our children’s lives. Parents like my parent sometimes get bad rap, for sure we are accused of being too involved.

My parents are what researchers call a “child centric parent” this means they tend to put their child’s well being above their own well being. I call that evolution tomato-tomato I guess. Whatever you want to call it, recent research suggests that by putting our children’s well being above our own, we experience a bump in our well being as parents.

This development is big because on the other side of this argument is the idea that we have to put ourselves first in order to be good a parent and have a good family life. My opinion lies somewhere in the middle, as I as grew up seeing my parent love time with family, and friends, working, and going to the events. However, they have also been known to turn down an opportunity or event because it would take them away from their children for too long, after all their kids happen to be the coolest people they know on this planet.

 Tell me about the study

The research actually includes two studies. In the first study, the researchers surveyed parents on child centricism, parent styles and well-being. They found that parents, who were more child-centric, reported higher levels of happiness and meaning associated with parenting role. Taken at face value this gives with my parents’ experience of parenting, therefore they do enjoy spending time with their kids, don’t always love leaving them and would happily sacrifice for them

The first study relied entirely on self report and therefore could have been affected in social desirability in how parents report. Therefore the second study used a diary reconstruction method. This basically means, the researchers asked the parents to walk with them through the previous day and related how they felt during each activity, for each activity like walking the kids to school, parents rated their positive effect, negative effect and sense of meaning during the activity. Not surprisingly, parents who were child centric reported higher levels of positive effect and meaning the lower levels of negative effect when they were involved in child care activities

Here are my child centricism quiz

In measuring child centricism we go through series of items or tools, so be reviewing the questions below you will get the idea how child centric you are;

  1. my children are center of my life.
  2. the happiness of my children is more important to me than my own happiness
  3. my children are the most frequent topic of my discussion
  4. I don’t mind leaving my children to spend time with my friends (reverse the item)
  5. I would be willing to make almost any sacrifice for my children
  6. my schedule removes around my children
  7. The needs of my children come before my own.

Excerpt

We all believe being a parent is one of the most important jobs we can do, but it can also be one of the most difficult and we all have had times when we are frustrated, confused and stressed by our children. Therefore,This handbook is written for parents of young children, teens, youth, and adolescents.Students who are doing social sciences, those wish to join and those who are practicing it.This handbook is for Therapists/Counselors, Teachers, Lecturers, Activists, and everyone working with children, youth, adolescents in families and community members. It aims to give you a beater understanding of your childs behavior and what is it that your child is trying to communicate through their behavior. It also offers parenting tips and ideas on how to raise and nurture a good health child. It gives you a step-by-step guide for child development and parenting infants aged from 0-2 years, child development and parenting early childhood aged 3-7 years, child development and parenting of middle childhood aged 8-11, child development and parenting adolescents aged 12-24.Consists of both theories and practical parts that take you through early child development techniques.This books also aimed at anyone who experiences anxiety, stress, and depression, it looks into the causes, its effects, symptoms, and what to do to reduce it to a manageable level, it further draws some of research findings about stress, anxiety and depression caused during early stages that can cause negative impact of a child at later stages.This books aims to teach family members how to treat themselves using home remedies and tips in preventing expensive diseases like Cancer, heart diseases, skin diseases, cold and flue, hepatitis B, asthma to improve health and reducing costs of treatment. It further dig deep to understand right approach to combat HIV/AIDS and other Sexually transmitted diseases, importance of circumcision and attitudes towards it. This handbook further aims to make us understand about our social family addictive behaviors like masturbation and its effects to our general health, drug addiction and its effects and practical guide to combat all forms of social family addictive behaviorsThis handbook aims to make us understand about the importance of fitness, exercise, diet and nutrition at home, foods that we must eat on breakfast, lunch, and supper, for children and adults and food we must stop to take.It teaches us therapy at home or in families, its importations, right time to see a therapist, domestic violence and its effects and a step by step guide to counseling and guidance.Lastly it has go good classic stories for babies and children, it will help your little one to explore the hysterical wonders of the world through tales that can help to build their cognition and memory.

From the experience I consider parenting to be one of the most important and most enjoyable things my parents got to do in their life. So, I think about it a lot, read about it, research it, and I write about it. I think parental choices and attitudes matter a great deal in our children’s lives. Parents like my parent sometimes get bad rap, for sure we are accused of being too involved.My parents are what researchers call a “child centric parent” this means they tend to put their child’s well being above their own well being. I call that evolution tomato-tomato I guess. Whatever you want to call it, recent research suggests that by putting our children’s well being above our own, we experience a bump in our well being as parents.This development is big because on the other side of this argument is the idea that we have to put ourselves first in order to be good a parent and have a good family life. My opinion lies somewhere in the middle, as I as grew up seeing my parent love time with family, and friends, working, and going to the events. However, they have also been known to turn down an opportunity or event because it would take them away from their children.

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