Make me understand, family parenting and health

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CONTENTS

About the author………………………………………..xii

Preface………………………………………………… …..xiv

Acknowledgement……………………………………..xvi

Introduction…………………………………………….xviii

What is this book for?…………………………………xx

PART 1 PREPARING FOR THE BABY, GETTING STARTED

Preparing for the baby: the story………………..25

Over view…………………………………………………26

Chapter 1:  Child developmental theories 21………………….…33

Introduction; overview of child development theories…34

Developmental channels and Theories of development…..35

Developmental Stages milestones of child development……36

Sensitive periods in child development…………………………..37

Major child development theories and theorists…………39

Sigmund freud’s psycho sexual stages of development theory………40

Erik erikson’s psycho social stage theory………………………………….….41

Lawrence kohlberg’s moral understanding stage theories…43

Jean piaget’s cognitive development stage theory………………….…45

Urie Bronfenbrenner ecological system theory………………………46

Conclusion…………………………………………………………………….……48

PART 2 CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND PARENTING INFANTS (0-2 YEARS)

Chapter 2: How your baby grew and matures..……..56

Introduction……………………..…………….…….…56

Infancy Physical development……………………57

Infancy physical development. Motor skills…60

Infancy physical development. Gross motor…63

Infancy physical development. Fine motor …..65

Infancy physical development. Avera growth..69

Infancy cognitive development…………………..74

Infancy cognitive development. Language development…….77

Infancy Emotional/social development……….80

Emotional expression and understanding……85

Infancy emotional and social development….. 90

Social connections……………………………………..95

Infancy Sexuality and body awareness development……….98

Chapter 3:  Keeping your baby healthy and happy……….101

Introduction……………………………..………………102

Holding and Physical support…………………….103

Facilitating growth movement……………………105

Feeding and nutrition………………………………..107

How much to feed?……………………………………109

Expressing and storing Breast-feeding……….112

Selecting and preparing bottles ………………….114

Burping and spitting up…………………………….116

When and what Solid foods to introduce?……118

Feeding solids and how to feed solid foods…..121

How much to feed babies?………………………….124

Weaning …………………………………………………126

Elimination and how to diaper, and penis and cord car……..129

Sleeping, Bathing and soothing a crying baby130

Hygiene and dressing your baby…………………135

Well baby Checks and immunizations…………140

Common baby concern………………………………150

Nurturing children, discipline, baby safety…. 153

Conclusion……………………………………………….160

Chapter 4: Infant safety: Keeping your baby say

Introduction to infant safety…………………166

Playroom/nursery safety………………………..…168

Kitchen and bathroom safety……………………170

Fire/electrical, pet safety, and car safety………175

Out door safety and preparing for the worst…195

PART 3 CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND PARENTING EARLY CHILDHOOD DEVELOPMENT (3-7 YEARS)

Chapter 5: Development during early childhood, toddler, and pre-school stages.

Introduction: development during early childhood…………205

Early childhood development average growth ……………….206

Physical development. Fine motor skills……210

Early childhood physical development. Toilet training…….215

Introduction……………………………………….….219

Early childhood cognitive development symbolic function……235

Early childhood cognitive development intuitive thought…………240

Early childhood cognitive development. Language development………243

Early childhood emotional and social development. …………244

Early childhood emotional . Reflective empath……….………247

Early childhood emotional  Aggression…….…249

Conclusion………………………………………….……250

Early childhood emotional  identity and self-esteem…………252

Early childhood emotional. Social connections

Early childhood moral development……………256

Early childhood gender identity and sexuality……………….257

Conclusion ………………………………………….…..258

Chapter 6: Parenting your toddler, preschooler

Early childhood Toilet training introduction

Introduction to parenting your toddler……….262

Early childhood feeding and nutrition…………265

Early childhood sleep ……………………………….267

Early childhood hygiene ……………………………269

Early childhood exercise……………………………273

Early childhood love and nurturing……………275

Early childhood, its important to encourage reading……………………………………………………279

Early childhood medical care…………………….281

Early childhood mental care………………………284

Early childhood safety……………………………….287

Coping with transitions in early childhood: Getting a new sibling …290

Coping with transition in early childhood. Going to day care…………295

Coping with transition. Starting pre-school or kindergarten ……302

Conclusion…………………………………………….310

Chapter 7: Early childhood toilet training…….318

Early childhood toilet training introduction..320

The right time to start toilet training. Children’s readiness.323

Family readiness and red flags…………………..327

Pre-toilet training in early childhood………….330

Preparing the space for toilet training in early childhood….335

Toilet training friendly friendly clothing ……340

Early childhood toilet training methods…….344

Conclusion………………………………………………347

How to deal with toilet training challenges? When traveling……….350

Constipation and fear of flushing………………355

Bed-wetting, encopresis and enuresis………..357

Conclusion………………………………………………359

Chapter 8: Disciplining your toddler, preschooler…….360

Preventing early childhood misbehavior before it happens………362

The use of choice in early childhood………….363

A step-by-step guide for how to discipline children 370

Natural and logical consequences in early children .375

Combining choice and consequences in early childhood……..379

Childhood time outs…………………………..….384

Spanking in early childhood………………………388

Lying in early childhood………………………….…390

Supportive communication in early childhood and discipline…………………………………………..392

Conclusion ………………………………….……….394

Chapter 9: Nurturing your toddler, preschooler………….395

Introduction ………………………………………397

Creating nurturing space in early childhood.400

Physical nurturing. Gross motor activities…..403

Physical nurturing fine motor activities ……405

Cognitive nurturing in early childhood………409

Social nurturing in early childhood…………..413

Emotional nurturing in early childhood………416

Cultural and spiritual nurturing in early……420

Nurturing at home and outside……………….…426

Conclusion. …………………………………….…….…430

PART 4 CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND PARENTING MIDDLE CHILDHOOD (8-11 YEARS)………….……………..432

Chapter 10: Nurturing your middle childhood ………433

Introduction ……………………………….……………435

Child feeding and nutrition………………………..438

Components of healthy meals and importance of water…449

Child sleeping, and managing children’s ins……………..….…460

Child hygiene and appearance…………………..470

Preventive health care, dental and vision car, sun safety, ….481

Common childhood illnesses……………………490

Chapter 11: Middle children safety and education…………………..…511

Introduction…………………………………………514

Automobiles, biking safety, leaving children home alone, outdoor safety, swimming pool safety…………………….………………………….…520

Middle children education……………………….524

Introduction……………………………….………….528

Education and schools ……………………………530

Engaging with teachers, the school,and the educational proces…533

Helping children get their home work done.534

Handling school related discipline incidents 534

Chapter 12 Middle child discipline and guidance …………535

Introduction…………………………………………..537

Choices and consequences ………………………539

Grounding children and sticker charts………541

Children cores, nurturing and children’s need for privacy…544

Dealing with difficult middle childhood issues………….548

Introduction ………………………………….………558.

Dealing with life’s tough topics…………………565

Teaching in children social skills………………573

Cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs at home, …….577

Romantic crushes and questions about sex..582

Sibling rivalry, encouraging children to support one another …587

Bullying and peer abuse and prejudice………593

Conclusion ………………………………….………….595

PART 5   CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND PARENTING ADOLESCENCE (12-24)

Chapter 13. Child development theory. Adolescence………606

What is adolescence?……………………………….608

An overview of adolescence development……612

Adolescence physical development……………620

Adolescence cognitive development…………..628

Adolescence emotional development…………634

Adolescence social development…………….660

Adolescence moral development……………….680

Adolescence sexual development………………695

Middle to late adolescence ages (15-22) the age of romance ….723

Conclusion……………………………………….……724

Chapter 14. Children and internet addiction in families….725

Introduction to Internet addiction……………726

Symptoms of Internet addiction……………….730

Children and media issues……………………….735

Types of media, its benefits and challenge…..765

Managing and controlling children media usage…770

Reference…………………………772

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Lukonge Achilees (Achilles)is highly experienced social worker, psychologist, Psychiatrist, Counselor/Therapist currently working with Pelletier teenage mothers foundation (PTMOF) helping over 100 vulnerable with the remarkable ability to create, discover, tell, treat and educate important social work articles that can teach us all the most important lessons in our families, health and our life. With Make me understand about family Parenting and health, he strives especially to help parents, children, students in social work learn how to nurture a health family. Providing them opportunities for getting help in matters concerning family, and to help students and parents understand their roles and responsibilities in upbringing a child, in a health environment.

Make me understand about family parenting and health is a must read for everyone in the family, and those working with children like care givers, teachers, guides and others fall in that category. Lukonge Achilees takes the reader on a wonderful journey, balancing all family and health sections, good therapeutic technique, and family empirical styles during the trip. Given that Lukonge Achilees elaborated aspects required in nurturing a health family, and any reader using this resource should increase their understanding of how family works, and how to raise good children, and how to stay safe and healthy in the family system.

Make me understand about family parenting and health is a fantastic book, well executed by a master! Achilees, systematically leads readers through every step of raising children, and provides examples for achieving a wide variety of specific goals.

 PREFACE

This first edition of the Handbook of Parenting and health appears at a time that is momentous in the history of parenting. The family generally, and parenting specifically, are today in a greater state offlux, question, and redefinition than perhaps ever before. We are witnessing the emergence of striking permutations on the theme of parenting: blended families, lesbian and gay parents, teen versus Fifties first-time moms and dads. One cannot but be awed on the biological front by technology that now renders postmenopausal women capable of childbearing and with the possibility of designing babies. Similarly, on the sociological front, single parenthood is a modern-day fact of life, adult–childdependency is on the rise, and parents are ever less certain of their roles, even in the face of rising environmental and institutional demands that they take increasing responsibility for their offspring.

The Handbook of Parenting is concerned with all facets of parenting. Despite the fact that most people become parents and everyone who has ever lived has had parents, parenting remains a most mystifying subject. Who is ultimately responsible for parenting? Does parenting come naturally, or must we learn how to parent? How do parents conceive of parenting? What does it mean to parent a preterm baby/infant (0-2years) parenting early childhood (3-7years) parenting middle childhood (8-11years) and parenting adolescents (12-24years)?

To be a younger or an older parent, or one who is divorced, disabled, or drug abusing? What do theories in psychology (psycho sexual stages of Sigmund frued, psycho social stages of Erik Erikson, moral understanding theory of Lawrence Kohlberg, Jean Piaget’s cognitive development stage theory, and Urie Bronfenbrenner ecological system theory for example) contribute to our understanding of parenting? What should parents do with each stage? For their children?

These are some of the questions addressed in this first edition of the Handbook of parenting… for this is a book on how to parents much as it is one on what being a parent is all about.

Put succinctly, parents create people. It is the entrusted and abiding task of parents to prepare their offspring for the physical, psychosocial, and economic conditions in which they will eventu-ally fare and, it is hoped, flourish. Amidst the many influences on child development, parents are the“final common pathway “to children’s development and stature, adjustment and success.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

This journey would not have been possible without the support of my family, professors, and mentors, and friends. To my family, thank you for encouraging me in all of my pursuits and inspiring me to follow my dreams, iam especially grateful to my parents, who supported me emotionally and financially. I always knew that you believed in me and wanted the best for me. Thank you for teaching me that my job in life was to learn, to be happy, and to know and understand myself; only then could I know and understand others. Thank you my mother, Nakayemba Rose, for guiding me as a person, a social worker, psychologist and teacher to finish my degree and giving me an upper hand in this process of book writing

I must thank all social work Lecturers and professors at Muteesa 1 Royal university  who tought me all what I know in social science structures, thanks for showing me what it means to be a dedicated, each in their own unique way. Each of you have given of your time, energy, and expertise and iam richer for it: Lecturer Lwanga Edward Bita, Lecturer Luttamaguzi John Bosco, Dr. Tumukunde Aloysious, Prof. Mukiibi

I would like to give special thanks to my inspiring roll models, I owe a debt of gratitude to Lecturer Lwanga Edward Bita for his time and careful attention to detail in everything I know in social work. To teacher Lukwago Ibrah I thank him for his untiring support and guidance throughout my journey. To my Father Profesor Mutaawe Richard, To Mr. Luttamaguzi John Bosco, thank you for modling great teaching and furthering my thinking about Social work and family, Psychology, anthropology, social work theories, community rehabilitation, social work intervation, and many others, Mr. Lwanga E.Bita thanks for furthering my thinking about Sociology, and statistics in social research, Mr. Mukiibi Andrew Adrian thank you for furthering my thinking about Gender mainstreaming, Research Methodology. Dr. Tumukunde Aloysious you modeled me in Social work courses.

To my family, RODI family headed by Prof. Mutaawe Richard and Prof. Londo Johnson, you are the reason why I finished my studies, no words can describe your presence in my life, and may God bless you all.

To my mentors at a work place PTMOF, Maama Ptmof, Mrs. Solome Nanvule, Mrs. Namuwulya Alice, Nagawa Mariam, Nakulima Winnie, Nakaweesi Agather, Nakalumba Salma , and mentors from Lwemodde, Speaker Bbaale Mudashiru, Chairperson Lusiba Mikidaadi, Wetaka Neithan.

To my mentor Sue Taylor from United States of America, thank you for your guiding advice, thoughts, and building words, and all things you have done toward my life.

Who this book is for

We all believe being a parent is one of the most important jobs we can do, but it can also be one of the most difficult and we all have had times when we are frustrated, confused and stressed by our children. Therefore, This handbook is written for parents of young children, teens, youth, and adolescents. Students who are doing social sciences, those wish to join and those who are practicing it. This handbook is for Therapists/Counselors, Teachers, Lecturers, Activists, and everyone working with children, youth, adolescents in families and community members.

It aims to give you a better understanding of your child’s behavior and what is it that your child is trying to communicate through their behavior.

It also offers parenting tips and ideas on how to raise and nurture a good health child. It gives you a step-by-step guide for child development and parenting infants aged from 0-2 years, child development and parenting early childhood aged 3-7 years, child development and parenting of middle childhood aged 8-11, child development and parenting adolescents aged 12-24.

Consists of both theories and practical parts that take you through early child development techniques.

From the experience

I consider parenting to be one of the most important and most enjoyable things my parents got to do in their life. So, I think about it a lot, read about it, research it, and I write about it. I think parental choices and attitudes matter a great deal in our children’s lives. Parents like my parent sometimes get bad rap, for sure we are accused of being too involved.

My parents are what researchers call a “child centric parent” this means they tend to put their child’s well being above their own well being. I call that evolution tomato-tomato I guess. Whatever you want to call it, recent research suggests that by putting our children’s well being above our own, we experience a bump in our well being as parents.

This development is big because on the other side of this argument is the idea that we have to put ourselves first in order to be good a parent and have a good family life. My opinion lies somewhere in the middle, as I as grew up seeing my parent love time with family, and friends, working, and going to the events. However, they have also been known to turn down an opportunity or event because it would take them away from their children for too long, after all their kids happen to be the coolest people they know on this planet.

 Tell me about the study

The research actually includes two studies. In the first study, the researchers surveyed parents on child centricism, parent styles and well-being. They found that parents, who were more child-centric, reported higher levels of happiness and meaning associated with parenting role. Taken at face value this gives with my parents’ experience of parenting, therefore they do enjoy spending time with their kids, don’t always love leaving them and would happily sacrifice for them

The first study relied entirely on self report and therefore could have been affected in social desirability in how parents report. Therefore the second study used a diary reconstruction method. This basically means, the researchers asked the parents to walk with them through the previous day and related how they felt during each activity, for each activity like walking the kids to school, parents rated their positive effect, negative effect and sense of meaning during the activity. Not surprisingly, parents who were child centric reported higher levels of positive effect and meaning the lower levels of negative effect when they were involved in child care activities

Here are my child centricism quiz

In measuring child centricism we go through series of items or tools, so be reviewing the questions below you will get the idea how child centric you are;

  1. my children are center of my life.
  2. the happiness of my children is more important to me than my own happiness
  3. my children are the most frequent topic of my discussion
  4. I don’t mind leaving my children to spend time with my friends (reverse the item)
  5. I would be willing to make almost any sacrifice for my children
  6. my schedule removes around my children
  7. The needs of my children come before my own.

Excerpt

We all believe being a parent is one of the most important jobs we can do, but it can also be one of the most difficult and we all have had times when we are frustrated, confused and stressed by our children. Therefore,This handbook is written for parents of young children, teens, youth, and adolescents.Students who are doing social sciences, those wish to join and those who are practicing it.This handbook is for Therapists/Counselors, Teachers, Lecturers, Activists, and everyone working with children, youth, adolescents in families and community members. It aims to give you a beater understanding of your childs behavior and what is it that your child is trying to communicate through their behavior. It also offers parenting tips and ideas on how to raise and nurture a good health child. It gives you a step-by-step guide for child development and parenting infants aged from 0-2 years, child development and parenting early childhood aged 3-7 years, child development and parenting of middle childhood aged 8-11, child development and parenting adolescents aged 12-24.Consists of both theories and practical parts that take you through early child development techniques.This books also aimed at anyone who experiences anxiety, stress, and depression, it looks into the causes, its effects, symptoms, and what to do to reduce it to a manageable level, it further draws some of research findings about stress, anxiety and depression caused during early stages that can cause negative impact of a child at later stages.This books aims to teach family members how to treat themselves using home remedies and tips in preventing expensive diseases like Cancer, heart diseases, skin diseases, cold and flue, hepatitis B, asthma to improve health and reducing costs of treatment. It further dig deep to understand right approach to combat HIV/AIDS and other Sexually transmitted diseases, importance of circumcision and attitudes towards it. This handbook further aims to make us understand about our social family addictive behaviors like masturbation and its effects to our general health, drug addiction and its effects and practical guide to combat all forms of social family addictive behaviorsThis handbook aims to make us understand about the importance of fitness, exercise, diet and nutrition at home, foods that we must eat on breakfast, lunch, and supper, for children and adults and food we must stop to take.It teaches us therapy at home or in families, its importations, right time to see a therapist, domestic violence and its effects and a step by step guide to counseling and guidance.Lastly it has go good classic stories for babies and children, it will help your little one to explore the hysterical wonders of the world through tales that can help to build their cognition and memory.

From the experience I consider parenting to be one of the most important and most enjoyable things my parents got to do in their life. So, I think about it a lot, read about it, research it, and I write about it. I think parental choices and attitudes matter a great deal in our children’s lives. Parents like my parent sometimes get bad rap, for sure we are accused of being too involved.My parents are what researchers call a “child centric parent” this means they tend to put their child’s well being above their own well being. I call that evolution tomato-tomato I guess. Whatever you want to call it, recent research suggests that by putting our children’s well being above our own, we experience a bump in our well being as parents.This development is big because on the other side of this argument is the idea that we have to put ourselves first in order to be good a parent and have a good family life. My opinion lies somewhere in the middle, as I as grew up seeing my parent love time with family, and friends, working, and going to the events. However, they have also been known to turn down an opportunity or event because it would take them away from their children.

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Author: Lukonge Achilees

Lukonge Achilees is highly experienced social scientist, Psychologist, Psychiatrist, Counselor/Therapist, Researcher, Travel expert as well as authors of several bestselling books on parenting, health, Novel books, and travel books. He is currently working with Pelletier teenage mothers foundation (PTMOF) helping over 800 vulnerable teenage mothers and youth. He was Trained and graduated from MRU 1 Royal university, Makerere University, and Ohio school of social science. He is coordinator of MRU University Socialist workers students society, He is Counselor, administrator, project coordinator, Field Officer and Secretary at Pelletier Teenage mothers foundation (PTMOF). He is C.E.O of a voluntary organization “Give a hand to the poor arch foundation” (GIHAPOAF) He has remarkable ability to create, discover, tell, treat and educate people of all groups